God speaks to us in various ways, but two key ones are via prayer and scripture. (See 2 Timothy 2:15). Too often, when we read scripture, we unconsciously tend to gloss over aspects of it without really understanding the true implications, or with an unconscious agenda to reinforce what we want to believe, or maybe to minimize its application to ourselves.
We can sometimes tend to jump to superficial conclusions based on a single scripture when we don't realize the context. You have to consider who was the passage written to and what the circumstances were. Also, we need to consider other scriptures on the same topic (sometimes a scripture will say one thing, while another will provide a different perspective or nuance). And most of all, you have to consider scripture in light of the life and key teachings of Jesus. We are blessed with the ability to easily get answers or clarifications to just about any passage in the Bible, provided readily on the internet. It takes years of study to really get a good sense of what Jesus was all about, what he wanted for us, and how the rest of the Bible fits in with that. Pastors/teachers can offer great insights into scripture and it's applicability, but don't base your Christianity on what someone else told you without studying scripture for yourself. When you appear before Christ, he isn't going to be interested in what you were taught, he's interested in what you did, based on what he said.
As part of a love relationship with God, we need to talk to him honestly and listen to his voice. God doesn't speak with a shout, but with a whisper that requires us to get to know what is his voice and what is just talking in our heads. It's not about coming to him with our agenda, but us getting in tune with his agenda for our life.
So really studying scripture and learning to listen to his voice helps us to ultimately get a real sense of God and his agenda for our life.
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